


All I Want For Christmas

by dajeongmohyo



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cheating, Christmas, F/F, Fluff, Polyamory, Seeking closure, family au, michaeng are kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:20:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28135308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dajeongmohyo/pseuds/dajeongmohyo
Summary: It's been seven years since that night. Seven years to the day exactly. It took seven years for Sana to come back. A lot has changed in seven years... And equally, not enough.Alternatively, Sana returns to a house that used to be home and hearts that used to be hers and finds something other than the closure she was looking for.
Relationships: Hirai Momo/Im Nayeon, Hirai Momo/Im Nayeon/Minatozaki Sana, Hirai Momo/Minatozaki Sana, Im Nayeon/Minatozaki Sana
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	All I Want For Christmas

It’s really hard for Sana to do this, but it must be done. It’s been years since she’s last seen them. 

They still live in the same house. She knows that they have another little girl, too. Chaeyoung, five years old. She looks just like her mother. 

Sana wishes she could have been there for everything.

It wasn’t right for her to have to leave on Christmas Eve. But in all honesty, she never should have been there.

It was clear from the moment Nayeon came into Momo’s life that Sana didn’t belong there. She wishes she would have had the life Nayeon has with Momo. They were so happy. 

But Sana has to come here. She has to talk to Nayeon and Momo again. She couldn’t possibly continue to live if she never got closure with them. She needs to see them. Maybe things were different now. If not, well, at least now she’d know.

It’s snowing around her as she walks down the streets. All the houses look so pretty with the Christmas lights up. Some families were outside around fire pits. Kids running around, adults drinking and telling stories, softly playing christmas songs filled the air.

Sana hates it.

Reminds her of what she lost, of what she wants back. Of what was on the other side of the door when it closed with her on the wrong side.

The very same door that is in front of her now.

It was brown back then. They painted it black. It looks nice.

Sana takes a deep breath and holds it in for a moment, before letting it go in a big white puff.

The air around her is so icy. She’s not sure if it's the snow or the hearts on the other side of the door.

Everything is still, the calm before the storm.

 _It’ll be okay_ , Sana thinks.

She knocks, twice.

_(It wasn’t okay.)_

Sana looks down to her feet while she faintly hears what happens on the other side of the door.

“Mommy, Mama, someone at the door!” a small voice yells.

“I’ll get it,” an older voice says. It’s Momo’s voice.

There’s music playing inside, or maybe it’s a movie, Sana can’t tell. She just keeps listening for footsteps nearing the door.

Sana's heart was already racing, but she's pretty sure it stops completely when she hears the door open.

She doesn't want to look up.

She can't look up.

When Sana looks up, Momo stands before her. She has a white sweater on and black leggings. 

Sana's never seen the sweater before, must be a newer one.

It's hard to read Momo's expression. It's never been hard for Sana to read Momo's expressions.

"Has it really been that long?"

Momo doesn't reply.

Momo doesn't do or say anything. She just stands staring at Sana, completely frozen.

"Momo, who..."

Nayeon.

Her words die on her tongue when her eyes meet Sana and she just walks up behind Momo, a little girl on her hip. 

She cut her hair. Got highlights, too.

Nayeon's wearing a fuzzy black robe over a white shirt and black-and-white checkered pajama bottoms.

Sana remembers those pants, they were a gift from Nayeon's little sister, Dahyun.

Maybe Dahyun isn't so little anymore, she should be an adult by now.

The little girl with Nayeon had short black hair and a little mole under lip. 

Mina had moles all over her little face.

This little girl must be Chaeyoung. She's wearing white long john onesie, little black snowflakes decorating the fabric.

_Did the family just have a black-and-white theme this Christmas?_

Sana thinks Mina must be in a matching onesie somewhere.

"Chaeyoung honey, go to the living room with your sister," Nayeon says, placing the little girl down. The child nods and runs back down the hall as Nayeon walks closer to where Momo was standing still.

She places a hand on Momo's shoulder to get her attention. 

Finally Momo moves, only turning to look at Nayeon. They have a silent conversation with their eyes, one that Sana can't understand anymore. Momo nods and turns away, following down the hall the same way the little girl did before.

Nayeon now stands at the door where Momo was. But Sana can read Nayeon's expression... It's not a happy one.

"I just want to talk," Sana says. Honestly. That's all she wants. There's so much she needs to say.

"Follow me," Nayeon tells her. She slides on some boots by the doorway and grabs a coat from the hooks along the wall and puts it on as she walks out the door, passing Sana and walking out and down the stairs of the porch. Sana looks down and follows Nayeon like an abused puppy. They stop under a big tree next the house, away from the front door and any windows.

Sana looks at the tree before looking down and focusing on the glow of the lights reflecting off the snow.

It would be so dark here if not for these Christmas lights decorating the house.

Nayeon shifts impatiently on her feet. She's standing with her arms crossed in front of her chest. She looks so serious.

_Was Nayeon always like this?_

Sana looks up at Nayeon for a second before looking down again and fiddling with her gloved fingers.

Nayeon glances down at her hands but says nothing. She recognizes Sana's nervous tic immediately, but she doesn't do anything about it.

They're past that time.

"Nayeon-"

"Why the _hell_ are you here, Sana?" 

Sana stops fidgeting her hands and looks up to Nayeon.

Maybe meeting her eyes wasn't the best idea.

Sana feels a chill go down her spine, and she knows it’s not because of the cold. Nayeon raises her eyebrows, waiting for Sana to speak.

“Closure, Nayeon. Something we all need,” Sana says softly. She swallows down all the other words she wants to say to Nayeon. “Some apologizes are owed, a lot of making up is needed. I know you and Momo must be happy, but I needed you both to know what I’ve gone through. I think Mina-”

“No,” Nayeon snaps at Sana, cutting her off. “Do _not_ mention Mina.”

“What?”

"Sana, _you_ left us,” Nayeon steps close to Sana as she speaks. Everything about her demeanor is serious, and it honestly frightens Sana. “Do not come into our home and start talking to _us_ about something that was _your_ fault. You don't get to come here and disrupt the life we built without you. Momo and I went through a lot of pain because of you.” 

The hurt in Nayeon’s voice was palpable. 

“The kids don't know you, Mina doesn't know you. And because of what? Because you couldn't live with your own guilty conscience? We loved you, we accepted it. Of course it hurt, but we didn't want to lose you. You hurt us, we loved you. We forgave you. But you were the one who couldn't forgive yourself. We didn't want to lose you, we worked around what happened, we dealt with what came next, and Sana, she's grown into a beautiful girl,” Nayeon pauses. 

She looks back at the house even though there was nothing to see but the decorated porch. Nayeon closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before she turns back to Sana.

“Mina is the sweetest thing. You took yourself away from her. Seven years ago to this date, you left us and you left her. We get it was a mistake, you were upset, stuff happened. You got pregnant. And we accepted that, we blame ourselves. I thought we had all gotten past that when Mina was born. 

But no, because you suddenly left just less than a year later. You got jealous, you cheated, you felt upset, you left, and now you're coming back to blame us. You know damn well we never wanted this. We loved you, we said we'll raise Mina as our own, together. It was always the three of us, what was a little one? We were supposed to be forever.” 

Nayeon stops speaking again. She looks up towards the sky. Nayeon doesn’t want Sana to know how much she’s hurt. Her hands are in tight fists. If it wasn’t because they’re numb from the cold, she’d be able to feel her short nails piercing into her skin. Nayeon takes another deep breath.

And Sana still hasn’t said a word.

Nayeon continues, “Sana, we still loved you, we still missed you every day, we still wanted Mina to have her birth mother in her life, we wish you would have been her during my pregnancy with Chaeyoung. This life Momo and I have, the dream always included you.

But you removed yourself, and I don't think you have any right to insert yourself now." 

Nayeon’s words carry a feeling of finality, Sana should know better than to try to say anything at this point.

She should know better.

But that’s not why she’s here.

Sana tries.

“Nayeon, listen-” she barely chokes out. 

Just for Nayeon to cut her off again.

“I won't hear you out, not this time. I'll let you talk to Momo if she wants to, but with me” -a pause- “There is so much you have to fix first."

Nayeon looks at Sana one more time and shakes her head. She decides then and there that Sana isn’t worth the pain anymore. Nayeon walks pass Sana as if she wasn’t even there, only stopping a few feet behind her to add,

“And don't even _think_ about wanting to see Mina.”

Sana can practically hear her heart breaking over the sound of Nayeon’s boots crunching the snow as she goes back into her house. 

Nayeon goes up her porch steps and stops right before the door.

She wants to look at Sana. She wants to look at the woman she’s loved for the past 10 years. She wants to look at the woman she’s missed all this time. She wants to look at Sana.

But she knows she shouldn’t. 

Nayeon doesn’t look back at Sana.

Nayeon pulls open the front door and shakes when she steps inside. It was too cold outside, in more ways than one. She sheds herself of her coat and leaves her boots at the entrance and heads down the hall.

“Momo?” she calls out, peeking around the corner and spotting her wife and daughters in the kitchen. 

They have a baking sheet on the island half covered with little balls of cookie dough that they had made the day before. Momo wipes her hands with a kitchen towel as Mina and Chaeyoung keep rolling dough into balls. Chaeyoung excitedly shows her mom and sister her little ball, to which both nod and tell her to put it on the baking sheet. Nayeon really doesn’t want to disturb them, but she already told Sana she’d talk to Momo, so she enters the kitchen anyways.

"Momo, can we speak quickly?" Nayeon asks, walking up behind her little girls and running her hand through Chaeyoung's short hair.

"Yeah," Momo nods, placing the kitchen towel on the table and walking around the island to Nayeon. "Minari, make sure Chaeng doesn't eat any cookie dough."

"Okay okay, Mama," Mina says !as she continues to focus on her cookie making.

"Mama, but it's tasty," the littlest one whines, her eyes widening at the wad of cookie dough in her hand.

Mina looks at her, trying to mimic the look their moms would give them when they shouldn't do something. "Chaengie no."

Chaeyoung pouts at her and keeps rolling her dough with her little hands. "Unnie mean." 

Mina glares at the girl. "Don't baby-talk to me.”.

Nayeon and Momo watch from the living room as the moment unfolds. Chaeyoung sticks out her tongue at her sister and Mina turns away from her, saying something about her being too mature for this.

"She got that attitude from you," Momo snorts, nudging Nayeon with her elbow.

Nayeon crosses her arms and nods approvingly. "I'm proud of that," she says smugly.

Momo shakes her head, "We'll see how you feel about that when she's a teenager." 

Nayeon brings a hand over her heart and feigns pain. "Oh, don't say that, she's still a baby." Nayeon looks at Mina and tries not to think about her baby all grown up. She was still so little now.

Momo wraps her arm around Nayeon's waist to pull her close to her side. "Mark my words, Miss Im," she says as they watch their daughters in the kitchen.

Nayeon sighs and turns her back toward the kitchen to face Momo. 

"Okay, but about Sana," she starts, letting the name fade as she says it.

Momo's smile falls as she asks, "Why is she here?" 

"Yeah, about that," Nayeon groans while rubbing the back of her neck. "I didn't really hear her out. I have so much built-up emotion, it was just... Seeing her again, I had so much to say to her. I don't even think I did my own thoughts justice. But I can't listen to her. You know how I feel about her, I'd give her every chance in the world to prove herself. Honestly, if I listen to her, I'd probably end up letting her hurt us again. I love her, but she causes us so much pain. I told her you and her can talk, that you'll listen to her." 

Momo sighs and speaks while looking to the ground. "Sana was my best friend and my first love... And she always will be, I guess. I'll listen to her, but I know her too well. I'll deal with her." 

"I don't know how to feel about her anymore, Momo," Nayeon says, it's more of a whisper. 

Momo sees the tears starting to gather in the corners of her eyes and pulls her into a hug. Nayeon takes a fistful of Momo's sweater as Momo runs small circles on her back. Nayeon doesn't let her tears fall but she sniffles a few times while holding onto Momo like a lifeline.

"I hope she's changed."

Momo closes her eyes and holds Nayeon tighter for a moment before letting go.

"We'll see."

Momo turns to the hall and Nayeon watches her go before returning to the kitchen.

"Mommy, who's that lady?" Chaeyoung asks innocently.

Nayeon forces a smile. 

"An old friend."

Momo overhears this and scoffs. 

_She was so much more than that before... But now..._

Momo shakes her thoughts out of her head and puts on her coat and boots and goes out to Sana. 

She sees Sana near the large tree outside the house. Sana has her hand on the tree, right over her name. There's a scratch through her name. It wasn't there before, not that Sana remembers at least.

Nayeon and Momo's names sit beside hers on either side, plus signs being the only thing between them.

Sana remembers when they bought this house, when they carved their names into the tree. It was just a few months before.

Mina's name sits just below the three, in a heart shape. She remembers when they added her.

It was just a few months before.

Chaeyoung's name was never added, Sana notices.

Momo clears her throat behind Sana. She doesn't like what she sees in front of her.

Sana lightly brushes her fingers across Mina's name as she turns to look at Momo.

"Hi, Momoring," Sana says sweetly.

She missed Momo so much.

And Momo knows she missed Sana too. But something about Sana saying her nickname _feels_ so wrong.

Momo tries to ignore the confusing feelings. It hurts to think too much about it. Momo balls up her hands into fists and releases them, repeating the action while trying to gather herself inside.

Sana notices it and wants nothing more to reach out and comfort her.

Momo flinches away, leaving Sana's outstretched hand alone. Time freezes and only the flurries of snow move around them. Momo's hands start opening and closing without her permission as when she starts to speak.

"Why, Sana?" Momo asks, her voice shaking. "Why did you leave? Why did you come back? Why did it take so long?" 

"Momo, I'm-" 

"You hurt us both so much, Sana," Momo continues. "You hurt me."

"I know, Momo," Sana sighs,"It was hard for me too. You know I haven't celebrated Christmas in seven years? I hate this time of year." She lets out a small, humorless laugh.

Momo doesn't laugh. Just keeps looking at the snow beneath her feet.

"We need Christmas after that. We needed a day of joy, we couldn't let Minari know of any hardships yet," Momo tells her in a soft voice. She didn't even notice her own slip until

"Minari.." 

Momo snaps her head up to Sana. She doesn't like her using Mina's nickname. It _is_ wrong.

"She's Mina to you," Momo corrects her. "Your baby, but _my_ daughter. Nayeon and I raised her. You left her, Sana." 

Sana looks at the tree. She can't look at Momo.

Momo hopes it's because she's ashamed. Because if she’s ashamed, it means she knows she was wrong. 

"I just," Sana says to the tree, "I couldn't look at her knowing she came from-" 

Momo doesn't want to hear what comes next. Momo starts to lose hope. And control.

"It wasn’t her fault!" she yells.

She never yells. 

"She was a beautiful gift! Regardless of how or why she was born!" 

Sana doesn't even know how to respond. 

Momo never yelled. Not at her, not at Nayeon. If Momo was upset, she'd get quiet, but she never yelled.

Sana just keeps staring into the tree, at Mina's name.

"I know Nayeon came out here and didn't give you a chance to speak. I'm here to give you a turn. Sana, I want to listen to you. But I'm not letting you bring Mina into anything. You gave her up. She's my daughter, Sana. Has been for the past 7 years. Do you understand?" 

Sana closes her eyes and turns to Momo again.

"Yes." 

Momo gives a single nod. "So keep her out of this and try to redeem yourself, Sana."

Momo stops clenching her hands and puts them into her coat pockets.

Sana sighs and looks at Momo. She swallows nervously and starts fidgeting with her fingers again as she speaks.

"I really loved you, Momo. I always _always_ loved you. I know you loved me and you loved Nayeon." 

Sana's hands are shaking now, she tries holding them tightly together to keep it from being noticeable. Her thumbs still fidget around.

"I was jealous at first, I know that was wrong. But then I realized I loved Nayeon too. My happiness was nothing more than being with you two, the women I loved the most. 

But that day, something hurt me. I don't know what it was. Seeing you and Nayeon... I know it was stupid, but it hurt me. It brought to those thoughts I had before, when we first met Nayeon. I always knew your heart had more than enough love for both of us. And I truly do love both of you."

Momo looks at her with the same expression she's had all night. Sana wonders if she's really listening or not. Maybe she's upset.

No.

She was definitely upset.

"Maybe it's our history, maybe it's my past, but... You're special to me, Momo," Sana says. And Momo knows she means it. Momo's always been special to Sana. "And I'm sorry that I lashed out at you, I know you and her were doing nothing wrong. I know you loved me. But I felt, in that moment, that I didn't belong. That I should have been with you, that you would have been better without me...

So I left. 

I left, I went out, I did the thing I wasn’t supposed to. I drank my issues away again. I found the first person and I need to feel something. It just happened to find this boy, a few years younger, he was cute. He wasn't opposed. He let me use him, maybe he thought he was the one using me. But he wasn't. I needed to feel like I was wanted, even for a night. Though I knew I have a home with you too. 

I was too emotional, too drunk. I went home the next day and pretended like nothing happened. I let you love me knowing what I did, I let you guys believe it was your fault, I let you believe that we, that I would be okay…”

Sana stops, thinking, remembering, hurting.

“And then it all started to unravel. 

I didn't even know, I thought me and him were careful, I thought you two would never know. But when I started getting sick, we went to the hospital... There was no hiding it anymore. I was pregnant. And it was obviously from cheating, as it couldn't possibly have been from either of you, science and all.

Momo, you don't know how fucked I felt in that moment." 

"Sana-" Momo interrupted, taking a step closer as Sana took a step back. 

"Let me finish please," Sana sighs. It was hard enough without Momo having a say. "I think Nayeon was more angry, but you were.. you were so hurt. I could tell both of you were disappointed, but I know you have always been more sensitive out of the three. It killed me to know that I hurt you. 

After that day, I couldn't look at you without thinking about the pain I brought you. Momo, I'm so sorry I let my emotions get the best of me and bring me to that point. But I will forever be grateful for the second chance you gave me." 

"Sana," Momo tries again. She sees so many things wrong with the way Sana is speaking.

"Momo, please.” Sana’s voice has become more of a plea. “You gave me a second chance. You and Nayeon, you were hurt but you still loved me. You never hated me or anything, you accepted it, we moved on. We all went through my pregnancy, you both helped me so much. Then Mina was born. She was like a little piece of glue that held us together. Or so it seemed at that time. 

But as time went on, seeing Mina hurt.

She reminded me of the boy I slept with, reminded me of the pain I brought, reminded me of my own pain. Mina went from a small ball of joy to a constant reminder of the kind of person I was. That day I left... Today, seven years ago… Seeing you, seeing Mina.. so happy. Mina was so excited at the lights, you were so happy seeing her laugh, Nayeon was happily taking pictures. It was such a happy moment, you all were so happy. It looked like a family out of a Christmas movie. And I felt like I didn't belong. 

Between You and Nayeon and Mina, there was so much love. I didn't fit." 

"Sana!" Momo yells this time.

"Stop that!!" Sana yells back louder, "I know what you're going to say 'oh, we loved you, you should've stayed' but I don't wanna hear it!!" 

Sana is mad. When Sana's mad, she says things she shouldn't. 

"I know you and Nayeon loved each other more than me!! Nayeon always wanted to make me feel unwanted-"

Momo clenches her jaw and balls up her fists in her pockets.

"Do _not_ talk about my wife like that," she says in a tone Sana's never heard from her. Sana realizes she crossed the line. 

"Sana, I love you, I still do. Nayeon loves you so much." Momo sounds much calmer than a second ago, it's almost scary how quickly her tone changes. "I know what happened with you and her, but you have to understand how _tired_ she is. You don't know how many times Nayeon defended you, Sana. So many times. Even now, she wishes she could give you a chance." 

Momo pauses and lets out a disappointed sigh. 

"But you haven't changed, and she's tired of it. _I'm_ tired of it. But, Sana, we both love you, we both miss you, we were both hurt. There was no point in time where I _ever_ wanted one of you over the other. When you left, it was like there was something missing from our lives. 

But because you left us with Little Mina, we made her our lives' purpose. God, if it wasn't for her, Nayeon and I probably wouldn't have stayed together."

Sana doesn't say anything. What could she say? Silence.

"Mina became the place we put our extra love in. That's why Nayeon and I are so protective of her. You _hurt_ us, Sana. We won't let you hurt her or Chaeyoung," Momo continues. 

Sana tries to detect pain in her voice. She could've sworn Momo was the one hurting here, not her. Not this much at least.

"You said when you left 'I can't do this. I can't look at her. She was a mistake.'"

Sana cringes at the memory. She looks down, ashamed.

Momo hopes Sana is understanding. She hopes Sana learns something tonight. 

"But Sana, Mina wasn't the mistake. _You_ made a mistake when you left that night, but that does not make _Mina_ a mistake. 

Nayeon and I will not allow you to make our daughter feel like anything less of a miracle." 

Sana shakes her head, "But I love Mina-"

"You don't know Mina."

That sentence was like a slap of reality across Sana's face.

Sana doesn't _know_ Mina. She _remembers_ her infant daughter, but she doesn't _know_ the girl she is now. She doesn't _know_ the life Nayeon and Momo have anymore. 

She doesn't _know_ Nayeon and Momo anymore.

"Did you ever love Nayeon?" Momo asks suddenly. It's a question she's had for a long time. She needs an answer. "Honestly, did you ever _truly_ love Nayeon for who she is, or was it only to please me?" 

Sana's taken aback. She feels put on the spot. She's having flashbacks she just wants to forget.

"I-I did, I loved Nayeon, I do-" she stutters, sounding unsure of what she's saying.

Momo understands. Sana never loved Nayeon the way she did. Sana never returned Nayeon's love.

Momo would never tell Nayeon this.

She's sure Sana doesn't know it herself. But Momo knows her too well.

"I know you have a lot of issues with your feelings because of how you grew up, Sana. I understand that, but you needed to start seeing who you hurt. You only ever worry about your own pain." 

Sana can feel tears starting to burn in her eyes. She can't even form a response, just muttering incoherently. 

"I- I- Momo, I-"

"Sana, I love you. I will _always_ love you. You were my first love, you will always have an important part in my heart. 

I also love Nayeon. I love Mina, I love Chaeyoung. I want to have you in my heart again, the spot has been empty waiting for you all these years."

Momo turns her back to Sana, looking towards the front door of her house.

Sana feels cold. It's not the snow. But she feels cold.

_Is this what dying feels like?_

"But if you can't learn from your mistakes and start caring about others... I'm sorry, but I'll have to just live without a piece of my heart forever. I can't let you hurt Mina or Chaeyoung, I can't let you hurt Nayeon, and I can't let you hurt me. Not again." 

Sana lets her tears fall, she feels like there's a hand tightening around her throat and she can barely speak.

"Momo, please.." 

Sana reaches out and puts her hand on Momo's arm, asking her to look back... Hoping she looks back.

"I’m really sorry," Momo says quietly.

Momo turns to Sana and Sana lets her hand fall from Momo's arm.

When Momo steps closer to her, Sana doesn't know what to expect. Momo's expression is emotionless, just as it was when she first saw Sana tonight.

Sana knows it's because she's not letting her feelings show. She guesses seven years was enough time to practice it.

Momo wipes away the tears on Sana's cheeks with her thumb, but they're quickly replaced by fresh one. Sana closes her eyes at Momo's touch, trying to keep from leaning into her hands.

She knows she shouldn't. 

Sana shuts her eyes tighter and tries to fight back the dueling feelings of comfort and pain she feels.

Her tears don't stop falling.

Sana doesn't even realize Momo's lips were on her forehead until she pulled away.

Sana opens her eyes and looks at Momo.

For the first time tonight, she can read her eyes.

They're forgiving. They're understanding. Not entirely, but it's something. 

_It's not okay._

The unsaid words that Sana hears.

_But you'll be okay._

Sana drops her head and Momo lets go of her.

The warmth on Sana's cheeks from Momo's hands starts fading slowly. 

Momo puts her hands in her pockets, clenching and unclenching her fists.

Soft tears fall down her cheeks as she walks through the snow, away from Sana. She made sure to hold out long enough so Sana wouldn't see her.

It hurts so much.

Momo walks back inside without even looking back. It pains her to not be able to love Sana like before, but it will take a lot of healing before they're at that point again, if they were to ever get there.

But Momo's had enough of the past for one night.

She leans back against the front door of her home and closes her eyes. The tears falling down her cheeks slow to a stop and she smiles when she hears Mina and Chaeyoung laughing. Nayeon sings something in a playful voice, making the girls start laughing harder. 

Momo takes off her coat and boots and stands in the middle of the hall in a daze. She looks at herself in the mirror and dries her cheeks with her sweater's sleeve. 

Nayeon's eyes meet hers in the mirror. Her wife looked at her, full of concern. 

But when Momo smiles, Nayeon smiles too.

_We're going to be okay._

Momo sighs and turns around, meeting her wife and daughters in the kitchen again.

"You guys didn't finish all the hot cocoa without me, right?" Momo says, ruffling Chaeyoung's hair as the little girl drinks her hot chocolate from a snowman mug.

Chaeyoung looks up at her mom, her large eyes melting Momo's heart. She puts down her mug and smiles up at Momo.

There's chocolate all over her upper lip.

"Mommy left some for you, we didn't forget," Chaeyoung tells her. 

Momo pokes her dimple, causing the little girl to squeal, before walking around the table and wrapping her arms around her wife's waist and putting her chin on her shoulder.

Nayeon hums and places her hands over Momo's, leaning back into her. Mina smiles at them and Chaeyoung continues to sips on her hot cocoa.

"Did you want a cup of hot cocoa now? The cookies should be done in a moment," Nayeon says softly. Momo shakes her head as a response. "Let's stay like this for a moment, then."

Just then, the oven dings. Momo and Nayeon groan, their soft moment interrupted before it even started. Mina's eyes light up and Chaeyoung puts down her mug.

"Cookies are done!" the girls yell in unison. 

Nayeon taps Momo's hands, silently asking to be released. Momo lets go of her and faces her daughters.

"I think we should open the gifts while the cookies cool down, what do you think?" Momo suggests while Nayeon deals with the cookies.

Chaeyoung nods enthusiastically and Mina shrugs, trying to look nonchalant (though her big gummy smile is a dead giveaway of her excitement).

"Heard that, Nay? Meet us in the living room," Momo tells her wife who's in the middle of scraping cookies off a baking sheet and onto a plate.

"Don't open anything until I'm done," Nayeon says, glaring at Momo from the side of her eye.

Momo quickly kisses Nayeon, mumbling 'no promises' before running away and picking up both of her daughters, Mina hanging onto her back with her arms around Momo's neck and Chaeyoung under her arm like a football.

"Ah, Mama!!" Chaeyoung squeals.

Momo and Mina laugh. Momo spins around a few times when she makes it to the living room before setting each of the girls down on the couch. Both are red with laughter and slightly dizzy, but they're happy. When Momo sits down between both of them, Mina presses a kiss to her mother's cheek, Chaeyoung following suit.

Momo smiles and pulls both of them into a tight hug. The three settle with Momo in the middle, Chaeyoung on her left side and Mina on her right. The three are quietly waiting for Nayeon, watching the fireplace glow next to the Christmas tree. 

Chaeyoung yawns. Momo just now realizes it's almost 2 am.

Mina is already asleep on her side and Momo feels herself getting drowsy by the warmth from the fire and her girls against her.

By the time Nayeon finishes putting the cookies onto plates and cleaning up the kitchen, her three girls are already asleep in the living room. 

Chaeyoung has a handful of Momo's sweater in a fist and has her head against Momo's ribs with her legs bunched up next to her, Mina has her head down on Momo's lap and her hands under her head like a pillow. Momo had one arm around Chaeyoung, the other one holding Mina on her lap in case she was to fall.

Nayeon wakes Momo up with a kiss to her forehead.

"Do you want to wake them for gifts or just leave it for the morning?" Nayeon asks in a whisper.

"Leave it for the morning," Momo mumbles. "Join us."

Nayeon softly picks up Mina's legs to sit under her and sits with the little girl laying down across both her mothers. Nayeon places her head on Momo's shoulder and starts running her hair through their daughter's hair.

"We're all going to wake up with tremendous back and neck pain, you know?" 

Momo shakes her head and closes her eyes, resting her head on Nayeon’s.

"Goodnight, Nay. Merry Christmas."

Nayeon smiles.

_(They're going to be okay.)_


End file.
